Shopping might seem like a simple enough activity: go to a store, pick out something you like, and buy it. Easy as that, right? Not quite. They don”t call it retail therapy for nothing, and most women have plenty more baggage than what”s inside those hefty shopping bags. So before you and your girlfriends head out on your next shopping excursion, it”ll behoove you to study up on the types of shoppers you might encounter.
Read on to see who they are. You certainly don”t want to cross number nine in the fitting room.
This shopping partner may seem like she”s on your side as she peppers compliments and gives off a classic “You go, girl” vibe, but she”s likely the last person you can rely on to give you an honest opinion about a potential purchase and often encourages bad decision-making. Be warned: enablers often travel in packs, and their powers get stronger when combined.
The Bargain Hunter
A woman on a mission, the bargain hunter is always looking for a better deal. She beelines straight for the sale racks and often goes shopping with a wallet full of coupons (like, who knew Barneys gives away so many 15-percent-off flyers?!) and rewards points earned over years of dutiful spending.
The Power Reseller
One of the more recently discovered types of shoppers, the power reseller came of age with mass retailer designer collaborations. She expertly navigates mobs of consumers and buys in large quantities with the purpose of reselling the products at a markup on eBay. She also spends a great deal of time at consignment shops, thrift stores, and second-hand boutiques trying to peddle her lightly worn duds.
The Instant-Gratification Seeker
This shopper makes snap decisions, which often leads to buying ridiculous items — most often, trendy items from H&M and Forever 21 — purely on impulse. In line with other thrill-seeking types, a single compliment on one of her many regrettable purchases will only perpetuate the cycle.
The No-Limit Spender
She treats every shopping trip like a test to see if she can reach her credit-card limit, which is generally unlikely considering she has multiple credit cards (from multiple benefactors). She makes grandiose purchases as if she were buying an iced coffee. Hidden benefit? She often shares the love.
The Unwilling Partner
Typically found in the form of a near comatose boyfriend, this shopping partner is completely disinterested in the act of shopping. They are often seen slouching in the store”s only chair or standing awkwardly in the store”s most inconvenient spot while checking their phone.
The Online Shopper
She never schedules meetings at noon — that”s when she”s at her desk, scooping up merch on Gilt.com as soon as the flash sale goes live. Her Gmail inbox is at capacity with ecommerce notifications, she gets more deliveries than the post office, and she”d never be caught dead waiting in line for a fitting room.
The Drunk Online Shopper
Unlike the traditional online shopper, there is little method to the drunk online shopper”s madness. Often, she wakes up with shipment notifications for things she has no recollection of purchasing. She spends a lot of time (and money) printing return labels and trying to make regrettable purchases “work.”
The Unsatisfied Customer
Most feared by sales clerks, this shopper has a vendetta. Whether she”s furious that she paid full price on something that”s now on sale or angry about the lack of quality customer service, every store is her battlefield, and wars are won at the cash register.
The Approval Seeker
Most often seen in the form of mother-daughter duos, this needy shopper can”t seem to make any decisions without the approval of her shopping companion.
For the vast majority of women, shopping is a form of retail therapy, but downers manage to remove all joy from the experience. They seem shocked and appalled by universally accepted sizing constructs and personally offended by prices. Worse yet, they claim to “never look good in anything” and never seem to actually buy anything, ever.
She has an opinion about everything . . . and everyone. Although you appreciate her honest advice, it often comes unsolicited and makes you wonder how she knows so much about fashion history or garment construction for not having any background in it whatsoever.
When she says she”s going on a shopping trip, she means it. You most often only see her at the beginning and end of an expedition: she will enter a store, grab roughly 379 items, and disappear into a fitting room for hours on end — only to return as though no time had passed.
The Miracle Worker
Whether it”s scoring a too-good-to-be-true deal or finding the exact fringed navy bucket bag that”s been on her wish list, this woman finds such joy in the retail experience that it makes you question why rampant consumerism gets such a bad rap.