Never Mind Hoverboards Heres Our 2015 Tech Wish List
If our DVD of Back To The Future: Part II is to be believed, 2015 is the year when we’ll all be zooming around on hoverboards.
Unfortunately it’s not looking all that likely, even if the technology to build your own is in place.
In their absence, we’ve come up with a wish list for 2015 technology – if we don’t get all of this stuff by the end of the year, there’ll be hell to pay…
Google Glass Eye
Augmented spectacles don’t just cut the mustard any more, even though hardly anyone wears them yet.
For 2015, we want our emails, tweets, audio and video transmitted into an actual eyeball that will replace our outmoded 20 century version.
What’s more, we want to be able to remove it at night and charge it in a glass of tap water by the side of the bed.
Words and pictures aren’t enough any more – not for that full Twitter experience.
We’re demanding that Twitter relaunches itself, with users hooked up to a front-facing camera at all times, so that their identity can be shared.
We’ll all be equipped with VR masks and special software will allow us to hear and see them saying their tweets into our faces.
It should lead to the death of Twitter within weeks.
Let’s face it – mutts are too much like hard work, with the feeding and the exercising and the smell and everything.
It’s almost 40 years since Doctor Who’s K-9 appeared on our screens and yet the scientists have yet to create a domestic equivalent? Shocking.
Give us robot dogs and let us download tricks as apps. NOW!
How outmoded has music-listening become in 2015? Completely.
What’s with all the stuff about having to put earphones in just so you can order to hear your favourite tunes on the way to work?
3D printing means that you should be able to download a song in tablet form, put it in your mouth and hear it inside your mind as it dissolves on your tongue.
Apple won’t be able to join in with this development – after all, who heard of anything as old-school as an apple?
The reason the traditional English pub is dying isn’t because you might stumble upon Nigel Farage whenever you step into one – it’s because they’re tied to the past.
Imagine if you could just remove an entire pub from a packet and blow it up in your back garden in under five minutes.
Bar staff, quiz machine, karaoke, the lot. Come on, boffins – make it happen!