Coronation Street Catch Up Beth Tinker And Chesney Battersby Brown Have An 80s Wedding

Coronation Street catch-up: Beth Tinker and Chesney Battersby-Brown have an '80s wedding

Coronation Street catch-up: Beth Tinker and Chesney Battersby-Brown have an '80s wedding

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The bridesmaids came as Bananarama. Maria sprayed so much hairspray that there should have been a special shout out to the Ozone Layer in the speeches. The wedding march made way for Glenn Medeiros on a ghetto blaster.

And essentially, it was the most successful soap wedding in decades, but then that doesn’t take much because in 80% of them, someone dies.

The visuals were brilliant, the soundtrack was hilarious and the pairing of the whole thing with the bleakness of Steve’s worsening depression and Liz’s desperation was expertly done.

For future though, Corrie writers, the token ‘Kirk’s gone missing’ storyline was unnecessary. You don’t have to do it <every time>. Brides and Grooms can sometimes just turn up.

Here’s what we learnt from Friday night’s Corrie…

ITVIt”s the big day! 

Alcohol can build even the most broken of bridges

“Well everyone’s alright after a few glasses of prosecco, aren’t they?” asked a tipsy Sal who’d arrived late after finding that the alluring combination of Tim’s streaked Dollar wig and her new designer sofa just too much to resist.

No wonder there are so many fights on Don’t Tell The Bride

“Weddings, alcohol and polyester,” sighed Julie. “It’s a powder keg waiting to blow.”

The term ‘hand dryer’ is a little restrictive

I give you: Beth, treating her armpits to a little wedding day treat.

If your soap girlfriend keeps telling you how amazing you are, your cheating is about to be exposed

“Thanks for a LOVELY day,” said Liz, despite the fact that they’d just popped to the shops and her feet were killing her and IMAGINE how busy the sales still would have been. Oh Tony. Your time is nearly up.

Sometimes people believe what they want to believe

“He’s probably stuck in traffic,” said Julie about absent Kirk. “You know what that ring road’s like.”

And Beth nodded, obviously, despite the fact she had just come via the same ring road because they <live on the same street>.

People in soaps do not have Facetime/ Skype/ social media… or for that matter, photos

Since Beth didn’t recognise Kirk’s parents, I’m presuming all that’s true. I mean not visiting each other is one thing, but not even showing Beth a <picture> of them? And does Maria not have some up in frames over at her place? Come on, writers.

Crop tops are favourable over a beige mac-based uniform

Did anyone else think that Maria was really working the whole dungaree/ crimped hair thing? And with the evident mission to liven up Maria ongoing, I think she could do worse for a new look.

With fancy dress, do be careful that you don’t give out mixed messages

“I’m George Michael, obviously,” said Sean enthusiastically. “From his Club Tropicana days!”

“I think the racquet is a little misleading,” deadpanned Eileen.

Daily dates at the same bar drinking the same wine might get a bit much

Ease up a bit, Non Scottish Hamish, ease up just a bit.

If you know a person named Eileen, you must always try to tell them to ‘come on’

Don’t think we didn’t notice it, Corrie writers. Don’t think we didn’t enjoy it.

Come back on Monday for more Corrie lessons and tweet me @cgcorcoran

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Sinead unveils the finished basque to Beth and she’s speechless, bowled over by her workVIEW GALLERY 

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